I've decided this place isn't The Prisoner, it's Westworld. All the people and animals are actually robots and the reason they gas us at night is so they can switch off all the machines and give them routine maintenance. The trick is to look at the palms of the hands...none of the staff have any fingerprints. The whole operation is controlled from a bunker in the heart of the island and one day one of the noddy terns is going to malfunction and go on a rampage and kill all the guests...

Anyhoo. I woke up early again just as the men in the scientists coats were putting all the machines back in place ready for switching on. I had one last try at getting my butt on the 9am dive boat but still couldn't face it and sat on Shark beach for a while getting my head together. I was a right as rain for the 11am dive though, and I was trusted to buddy up and dive without close supervision though it was a bit of a toughie cos currents kept bashing us against the coral (which of course was the last thing we wanted). I had another (slightly posher) underwater camera to keep me amused though it was bloody difficult to take pictures when we were being pushed around so much.

I was back in time for a sluice down, a quick cocktail, a leisurely lunch, and a quick sit down on my veranda. The noddy's had got used to me by now and parked down by my feet, their wings spread out and mouths gaping to try and stay cool. Of course why black birds choose to sit in hot white sand in full sun in the first place I don't know - one of them is going to melt a circuit and go on the rampage, you see.

Before I knew it, it was time for the 3pm snorkel boat - and this was a really fun dive because the tide had just turned and large (ish) waves were slapping at the reef edge carrying you along. My so called snorkel buddy fucked off immediately we hit the water but it just meant I could do my own thing so it wasn't so bad, and I made sure I stayed with the group. Finished off the film in my second camera and then said goodbye to all the GBR fishes. I must admit I clambered back on the boat with a bit of a lump in my throat (and a nasty rash on my inner thighs from the wet suit but the less said about that the better). I'm going to miss all these fish and watery shenanigans in land locked Manchester...

...Instead of simply drinking myself into a depressed stupour, after lunch I hooked up to a star gazing lecture on the helipad. It did seem that the southern hemisphere shared most of the stars we did, and some of it went a bit over my head but I was impressed with our lecturers laser pointer - it was clearly a bigger more powerful one than you can usually buy and it was like him pointing a big neon stick up at the sky.

After that? Well I intended to stay up and read for a while but the nerve gas they pumped in the room took effect pretty early and I woke up again on the top of the bed at 3am with a book over my face as usual...