Macaroni Meatballs - a slightly lengthy preparation time, but worth it for a big bowlful of that all-American steak-and-cheese experience.

Ingredients
1 packet of IKEA meatballs (no gravy - Sainsbury's meatballs also do)
1 tin of macaroni cheese

Preparation
Empty both items into individual bowls and microwave separately to preserve their individual juices (please follow the advised cooking time on the items packaging). then stir one into the other loosely with a spoon until you get that raspberry ripple effect of one in the other. Garnish with a couple of rounds of bread.

Washing up requirement: 2 bowls, 1 spoon
Preparation time: ~ 10 mins

Pie on toast

Ingredients:

Small tin of meat pie filling e.g. a tin of minced beef or lasagne filling
Bread
Margarine

Preparation:

Empty the pie filling into a bowl and microwave for 4 minutes, meanwhile toast and butter the bread. Once the pie filling is heated up, empty it on the toast and spread it evenly over the full surface. Cut up and consume. Makes a nice alternative to beans on toast.

Washing up requirement: 1 bowl, 1 plate, 1 knife
Preparation time: 5 minutes
 

The Cheese Sandwich for when you don't have any clean plates or cutlery

Ingredients:

Bread
Cheese
Margarine

Preparation:

Open tub of margarine. Take your first slice of bread and rub it against the surface of the margarine until you get good even coverage of margarine over one side. Take cheese. Tear wrapping apart with your teeth. Break off a 1-2inch chunk of cheese and wrap in the slice of bread. Eat like a sausage roll. Repeat with second slice of bread.

Washing up requirement: None
Preparation time: <5 minutes
 

Was going to post my own recipe but this is a much finer one

http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/recipes/starters/364765/

(albeit it does take a whopping 15 minutes to prepare with lots of washing up)

Fake meatball panini

Ingredients

1 tin of Princes Meatballs in tomato sauce
2 slices of bread (full size square white toaster bread is best)

Instructions

Empty the meatballs into a bowl and stick in the microwave for 4 minutes. Meanwhile, place the two slices of bread in the toaster and toast to your own particular preference, then butter. When the toast and meatballs are finished, put one slice of toast on a plate, spoon the contents of the bowl over the bread, then place the other slice of toast on top. Press down gently and slice in half. Serve with coffee. Makes a good quick lunch and saves  you an irksome trip down to StarBucks + £7.

Variations:- If you have cheese, you can always grate and sprinkle some on top of the meatballs before layering on the second slice of bread. For a healthy alternative, don't bother buttering the bread, don't add any sugar to your coffee, and eat standing up.

Prepartion time:- 4-6 minutes
Washing up requirement:- 1 bowl, 1 plate, 1 knife

Soup and Veg

Ingredients

One tin of soup
One bag of chopped cabbage/leek
One bag of peas

Instructions

Empty veg and peas into a bowl, cover top with a plate and microwave for 4 minutes. Meanwhile, empty the tin of soup into a pan and gently warm on the hob. When the veg is ready, tip it into the pan with the soup (or...if you prefer...empty the soup into the bowl with the veg). Serve with bread and butter, or cold spuds if any are left over from previous meals.

Preparation Time:- 4-7 minutes
Washing up required:- 1 bowl, 1 pan. Make sure you stir the soup with the spoon you intend to eat with.

Eggy Bread

Ingredients:

Eggs
Bread
(optionally: Ketcup, Brown sauce, + any spices lying around)

Preparation:

Warning! This is advanced level cooking - it can take up to 15 minutes to prepare and also requires that you use a proper stove and not a microwave! This meal is worth saving for a special occasion and when you have time to spend on cooking e.g. a Sunday dinner or leisurely Saturday lunch.

Place a frying pan on the hob, tip a tablespoon of oil in and set the ring to high. Leaving the pan to heat, take three eggs, crack them up into a bowl and whip them up quickly with a fork (optionally at this point if you are the sort that has lots of spices lying rotting in our cupboard, consider adding a dash of cinamon, paprika, chilli powder or onion powder to the eggs - otherwise don't worry, it'll taste fine). Then slice three slices of bread.

Once the oil on the pan is smoking and there is a faint fug of smoke in the air, dip a slice of bread into the eggs until both sides are covered then slap into the pan and stand back because there will be lots of sissling (this isn't a recipe to cook whilst naked). Flip over every 10 secs or so until both sides are golden brown then scoop out and put on a plate. Cover one side of the bread lightly with red/brown sauce.

Then dip and fry the next slice of bread. Carefully lay the second slice of bread on the first over the first, then add more sauce to the top of the second slice. Repeat with the third slice. Then, if there is any egg left, tip this in the pan and swirl it round until it is complete cooked, and scoop out on the top of the stack of bread.

Eat however you can (it can be messy)

Variations on the eggy bread theme:

An obvious addition is bacon. This of course is extra effort though you can now get microwavable bacon that only takes a couple of minutes, so feasibly you can have this going in the microwave whilst you are preparing the bread and not spend any extra time cooking. The same goes for sausages.

If you want to dine on Eggy Bread and still get your allocation of vegetables - microwave some fresh peas (and/or leeks, onions, cabbage) for 2 minutes whilst preparing the stack, and sprinkle a few peas in between each slice.

For a sweet touch - replace sauce with honey/maple syrup or/golden syrup and dust each piece with cinamon. In America they call this 'French Toast' but goodness knows why.

Caulironi cheese

Ingredients

1 tin of macaroni cheese
A packet of precut cauliflower floret thingies (or a whole cauliflower if you want to add a further 5 minutes to your prep time as you cut the thing up + you will have to wash an additional chopping board and knife unless you rip it apart with your fingers).

Preparation

Keeping the cauliflower in its packet, place in the microwave on high for 4 minutes. Meanwhile, empty the tin into a small saucepan and heat. When the cauliflower is ready, empty out of packet into the saucepan and stir round. Either empty into a bowl or eat straight out of the saucepan with the spoon you were using for stirring.

Preparation time: 5 minutes
Washing up requirement: 1 saucepan, 1 spoon.

Philedelphia spuds

Ingredients:

1 bag of baby potatoes
1 tub of cream cheese (e.g. Philedelphia)

Preparation:

Boil some water. Place bag of potatoes in a plastic jug and top up with boiling water. Place in microwave for 12 minutes. When ready, tip into a bowl. Serve in bowl with fork with unopened tub of cheese as side order. Eat wrapped in duvet in front of tv with tin of lager, dipping each potato in the cheese (this recipe also works as well with garlic and chive dip, salsa, hummous etc).

Preparation time:- 15 minutes
Washing up left over:- 1 bowl + fork

Pub Snack Mix

Ingredients:
1 Bag of crisps
1 Bag of peanuts

Preparation:

When you get your round in, purchase the ingredients above. Back at the table, open the bag of crisps carefully at the top. Rip open the peanuts bag and pour contents into the crisp bag then hold the top closed and shake. Finally, lay the crisp bag on the table and open it up further, along its seam, to present the contents. Push into the middle of the table to make a dramatic centrepiece that everyone can enjoy. Serve with lager.

NB many different variations in flavour can be created by mixing what type of crisp is mixed with what type of peanut (incl dry roast). Not advisable to substitue any ingredient with pork scratchings unless very close to closing time.