...that in Austrialia, a Virgin Mary is called a Bloody Shame?

Of Scottish Oatcakes.

"Yeh...they taste of jigsaws"

From Big Brother

"Women. You can't live with them...and you can't cut them up into little bits and hide them under the ground".

(after someone at work has just asked a favour of me)

"[and] I smell wonderful and am free from stain"

"I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am"

Dave Sprintz from 'The Weather Man'.

Warning! Following entry contains explicit content   more »

"This is my timey-wimey detector, goes ding when there's stuff." - Dr Who.

I want one of those.

'If you come anywhere near my wedding I'll kill you'

...I guess she doesn't want me to be a bridesmaid after all...

North West England version of Bladerunner:-

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
Barbeques on fire by the chalets past the castle headland
I watched the gift shops glitter in the darkness off the Newborough gate
All these moments will be lost in time,  like icecream on the beach
Time for tea.

Describing my Mum's new large brown bean bag to someone:

"It's like squeezing yourself into a giant anus"

Comment said during a conversation trying to identify some sort of seabird

"Well it's definately not a chicken"

"If I wanted romance, I'd rent a porn movie"